actualluy, the title itself would tell the whole thing, i really can not take the hard decision. should i leave, should i stay, why should i care about other's side, i should only do for my side, i am the only one that matters to me, this would be my life my future, that thing i would live for and with all my next years, why should i waste it all or throw it aside.
it is just me inside hesitating. i need a helping hand , i need someone that really cares for me and only me, someone who could feel me and easily see how my life is going for. i need someone who can support me and give me the couage to take such a decision. cowardsd they are , ain't they?
let us say it is not the other person himself, it is inside of me that i don't feel comfort with, so why should i try while i won't feel though, they say i should try and give other chances, but i can see clearly with my won eyes that he won'y success at all, cause he is not trying well or even he does't have the right concepts of trying, he is a weak person and helpless one, what he can do for me, while i could't do myself. i was barely wrong to put myself in such a situation.
everyone is thinking his own side, that is why we do lose everything in a selfish way, i am waiting for the other person to do what i am waiting for and he is waiting the same way, so no one will do so, we will waste our lives waiting forever.
acting like a silly disgusting person, that is really bad and makes you wanna turn your back and leave, while others can prove more and show you the way.
how can i make things right after i have done it wrongly.. should i make a reversal, what i would be losing! i guess i would be losing a lot, but that would be a matter of money only .
but on the other side i would be winning my dignity back, and i would give a breathe to my life again, should i wait just more time waiting or trying or should i take the step further now or never, actually and after all, i can say i just dont give a damn about anything or anyone but me, such as anyone feels the same,
and i can say it again and again and again, i have lost my life just because of them while they are now sitting on sofas and smiling like bitches.
i am writing here cause i am helpless and i dont know what to do and whom i should ask and what would be the right decision even it is me the only one can realize this.
but i wish that my god open the doors and would give me the ability to see what would be good for me.
it is just me inside hesitating. i need a helping hand , i need someone that really cares for me and only me, someone who could feel me and easily see how my life is going for. i need someone who can support me and give me the couage to take such a decision. cowardsd they are , ain't they?
let us say it is not the other person himself, it is inside of me that i don't feel comfort with, so why should i try while i won't feel though, they say i should try and give other chances, but i can see clearly with my won eyes that he won'y success at all, cause he is not trying well or even he does't have the right concepts of trying, he is a weak person and helpless one, what he can do for me, while i could't do myself. i was barely wrong to put myself in such a situation.
everyone is thinking his own side, that is why we do lose everything in a selfish way, i am waiting for the other person to do what i am waiting for and he is waiting the same way, so no one will do so, we will waste our lives waiting forever.
acting like a silly disgusting person, that is really bad and makes you wanna turn your back and leave, while others can prove more and show you the way.
how can i make things right after i have done it wrongly.. should i make a reversal, what i would be losing! i guess i would be losing a lot, but that would be a matter of money only .
but on the other side i would be winning my dignity back, and i would give a breathe to my life again, should i wait just more time waiting or trying or should i take the step further now or never, actually and after all, i can say i just dont give a damn about anything or anyone but me, such as anyone feels the same,
and i can say it again and again and again, i have lost my life just because of them while they are now sitting on sofas and smiling like bitches.
i am writing here cause i am helpless and i dont know what to do and whom i should ask and what would be the right decision even it is me the only one can realize this.
but i wish that my god open the doors and would give me the ability to see what would be good for me.
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