Wednesday, January 26, 2011
طال عليه الزمان
لكن ان الأوان
ينسي اللي كان
ويفتح كل البيبان
همج ف كل مكان
وكله ماسك عصيان
عشان يوقفوا العصيان
لكن صعب النسيان
الكل انضرب واتهان
داحنا شعب جعان
مش كفاية ألحان
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Sunday, January 23, 2011
it is just me inside hesitating. i need a helping hand , i need someone that really cares for me and only me, someone who could feel me and easily see how my life is going for. i need someone who can support me and give me the couage to take such a decision. cowardsd they are , ain't they?
let us say it is not the other person himself, it is inside of me that i don't feel comfort with, so why should i try while i won't feel though, they say i should try and give other chances, but i can see clearly with my won eyes that he won'y success at all, cause he is not trying well or even he does't have the right concepts of trying, he is a weak person and helpless one, what he can do for me, while i could't do myself. i was barely wrong to put myself in such a situation.
everyone is thinking his own side, that is why we do lose everything in a selfish way, i am waiting for the other person to do what i am waiting for and he is waiting the same way, so no one will do so, we will waste our lives waiting forever.
acting like a silly disgusting person, that is really bad and makes you wanna turn your back and leave, while others can prove more and show you the way.
how can i make things right after i have done it wrongly.. should i make a reversal, what i would be losing! i guess i would be losing a lot, but that would be a matter of money only .
but on the other side i would be winning my dignity back, and i would give a breathe to my life again, should i wait just more time waiting or trying or should i take the step further now or never, actually and after all, i can say i just dont give a damn about anything or anyone but me, such as anyone feels the same,
and i can say it again and again and again, i have lost my life just because of them while they are now sitting on sofas and smiling like bitches.
i am writing here cause i am helpless and i dont know what to do and whom i should ask and what would be the right decision even it is me the only one can realize this.
but i wish that my god open the doors and would give me the ability to see what would be good for me.
Friday, January 21, 2011
وقال تعالى : ومن يؤت الحكمة فقد أوتي خيراً كثيراً .
يا بني : ما ندمت على السكوت قط .
يا بني : اعتــزل الشر يعتزلك ، فإن الشر للشــر خلق .
يا بني : عود لسانك : اللهم اغفر لي ، فإن لله ساعات لا يـــرد فيها سائـــلاً .
يا بني : اتخذ طاعة الله تجارة تأتيك الأربــاح من غير تجـــارة .
يا بني : لا تكثر النوم والأكل ، فإن من أكثر منهما جاء يوم القيامة مفلسا من الأعمال الصالحة .
يا بني : بئراً شربت منـــه ، لا تــــرمي فيه حجــــــراً .
يا بني : عصفور في قدرك خير من ثــــور في قدْر غيرك .
يا بني : شئيان إذا حفظتهما لا تبالي بما صنعت بعدهما دينك لمعادك ، ودرهمك لمعاشك .
يا بني : إنه لا أطيب من القلب واللسان إذا صلحــا ، ولا أخبث منهما إذا فسدا .
يا بني : لا تركن إلى الدنيا ولا تشغل قلبك بها فإنك لم تخلق لها .
يا بني : لا تضحك من غير عجب ، ولا تسأل عما لا يعنيــك .
يا بني : إنه من يرحم يُرحم ، ومن يصمت يسلم ، ومن يقل الخير يغنم ، ومن لا يملك لسانه يندم .
يا بني : زاحم العلماء بركبتيك ، وأنصت لهم بأذنيك ، فإن القلب يحيا بنور العلماء .
يا بني : مررت على كثير من الأنبياء فاستفدت منهم عدة أشيــــــاء :
إذا كنت في صلاة فاحفــــظ قلبك .
وإذا كنت في مجلس الناس فاحفظ لسانك .
وإذا كنت في بيوت الناس فاحفظ بصرك .
وإذا كنت على الطعــام فاحفظ معدتك .
واثــنــتـــان لا تذكرهمـــا أبدأ :
إســـــــــــــاءة الناس إليك --- وإحسانك للناس .
Thursday, January 20, 2011
I don't know why I feel so wrongly. I still walk at the streets alone searching for the thing is missing. I guess it isn't exist at all. Still feel empty still feel that cold inside. Why would everything seem so blue. I know it's only me and it's inside of me. Why is it hard to people to get me out of this. While it's not that hard. But guess what. Where are the people they should be around. They say I choose mine but is it a sin to choose and wish more. I am choosing wrongly and everybody knows but they are speechless. I'm losing life and breathing while everyone is watching. Who cares. Everybody dares. I left thirty years behind of nothing. Everything has gone and everything has ruined and everything I had lost. Does it sound sad? Don't think so. Who cares. I'm going down just like I don't care and I'm weeping inside. My pillow never gets dry. I see people everywhere. They have things to stand for. What am I standing for then. I put my hands on my faults and put eyes on what I want. But I'm helpless hopeless. Not for the power but for the people. I'm just living as it goes. Who cares while my people don't. Will they? Guess no. I wanna do what's wrong. Cause being right wasn't right. Being true wasn't fine. Being straight wasn't great. I know I'm wrong to go wrong. And I can't even stand for. But who cares? No one. Don't even wait for an answer. Believe it or not. I get my tears on cheeks sometimes when I'm walking back home on the streets putting iPod on listening to Westlife song. It touches and I feel it and aches. But who cares. No one. Did I said I don't need an answer. Cause it's already in the question. I complain whenever I meet someone new. Why do I? I lost the ears that listen to me. But he doesn't even care. I wanna cry in someone's arms. But there is no one. Lost my dad. And my mum is there feels me sometimes. But she's helpless. She is thinking in other side. Do I look pity. No I don't. I saw someone in the morning. And fuck it. I always wish to see while I don't wanna see. I wanna hear the sound that charming and takes me away. Is it hard while they made it easy. Why do we make things harder. Should we go for the wrong way. But who cares. Guess what. NO ONE.
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Saturday, January 1, 2011
I never thought we could be like this and I thought we could just pass this fucking life very easily and very rapidly. I never thought I could get myself and my people in such troubles
I know it's just a fate. Just a destiny to pass. Yeh. I know we could work things now very easy and as fast as I could. Time goes by very fast and no one could imagine what would be in one second.
Sent from my iPhone
Another year has gone by Papa I miss you so much I still see your face sometimes, you are still here. I can hear your voice as we talked, maybe we weren't perfect as father and son should be, everytime I feel you, I wanna write something about you, I run to my words but I can't find ideas of what I should do, all I know that I love you even we were facing a hard time. But it couldn't change how I feel for a dad. He was everything that matters to me. I miss that face even I used to not see for a long time before he's gone. But at least I used to know that's he's there and I can see whenever I'm in need. I was feeling the support. I wanted to make a change for my life just to make him happy, he wanted that too. Should I cry in such a moment? Should my tears fall down? But how the hell I could help it, when it's something belongs to my heart, my soul, my life, my future, my past, memories and everything that's worth in life. I'm sorry I didn't say I love you thousands of times and I was stupid to do so. But what is the point now? He is GONE. Forever, I can't even hold that warm hand, I'm sure no one could feel this. You never know how awful losing means, when it belongs to someone like a dad, maybe be gave me nothing, but he gave me the feelings that's making me cry to remember just his name. Everyone loves his dad. But for me I can say it clearly and proud I LOVE YOU DAD. I love you, I love you and I won't stop saying even it aches and making me cry more and more, even when my tears can't stop it, I love you, I wish you were here to see me crying for you, to see my pillow that's wet of my tears, to touch the heart that's aching, I love you and this time my words are real, I'm saying them for nothing but feelings. Now I'm sure they are real, I love you, I'd rather sleep beside you forever. Life has no meaning without people we need. I love you and if it gets you back I would say it till I lose my voice or die trying, I love you and I wish you could hear it, you would feel better, because I really LOVE YOU.
[Composed with ShapeWriter] -- Sent from my iPhone
Sent from my iPhone
Sent from my iPhone